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Ok, thank your for your response. I've only just recently learned that I got myself into a bad situation because I'm with someone who is not really Dominant - story and now we're both miserable. I think the person I'm with is more mainstream than I am (which would be a total shock to the outside world). And I didn't know if what I'm looking for is a Dominant that I have to find within a certain genre or if it's just a personality problem. I think I need to be in a community with definite boundaries. Because I failed miserably in the "mainstream" world. Thanks again for your reply.
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both men and women. Is that a goal you can work towards as a couple?. Is there a possibility of her working part-time once they are in the picture? Or consulting work which can pay really well but offers the possibility of a flexible schedule. Maybe even telecommuting where she is home earning an income but still gets to enjoy parenting and being involved in her -'d day to day life. She need to switch to a career that offers more flexibily and a higher earning potential if she wanted to work part-time. Also, once you figure out what care costs, it might make more sense for her to be home until the kid/s are school age. I don't think it has to be and all or nothing. You both need to talk and be reallistic about what is feasible. It doesn't have to be about wanting a free ride, some of us yearn to have what our parents had and it as the ideal. At some point though, you both have to face the reality of YOUR situation. Then let the chips fall where they. 
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